Post your funniest jokes...

[Smithy]

I can't believe that I sat there and read that.
Great story with a crap punch line but that is the whole joke I guess.

Well Done.

[jenny]

I can't believe that I sat there and read that.
Great story with a crap punch line but that is the whole joke I guess.

Well Done.

LOL SMITHY

[Darren Lockyer]

Great Joke

[Ryan]

How much does Jesus love you?

This much:

[Coaster]

Jesus walked into a motel with 3 nails.

He put them on the desk and asked

"Could you put me up for the night?"

[jenny]

Paddy was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows.

"Twenty quid . . " she whispers.

He'd never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the heck,
it's only twenty quid .
So they hide in the bushes. They're going "at it" for a couple of
minutes
when all of a sudden a light flashes on them, it's a police officer.
"What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.
"I'm making love to my wife," Paddy answers indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."

"Well," Paddy says, "neither did I, until you shined that light in
her face."

[nflin3]

Whats the Difference between Jesus and a Picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang a picture of jesus.

[Steelers]

Whats the Difference between Jesus and a Picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang a picture of jesus.

Ahh Nick, you always have been the one to stir up controversy But, you are an atheist, so I guess it's just the way you have to be. Where are your RBR jokes that you seem to love busting out every day at school???

[scooter]

DUTIES OF WIVES.



Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had

given their new wife?s duties.



Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had told

his Wife she needed to do all the dishes and housework. He said

that it took a Couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean

house and the Dishes were all washed and put away.



Jimmie had married a woman from Canada. He bragged

that he had given his Wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning,

dishes and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see

any results, but the next day it Was better. By the third day, his house

was clean, the dishes were done, and He had a huge dinner on the table.



The third man had married an Australian girl. He boasted that he told

her That her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed,

laundry and Ironing twice a week, lawns mowed, windows cleaned and hot

meals on the Table for every meal.



He said the first day he didn't see anything, the Second day he didn't

see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling Had gone down

and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to fix Himself a bite

to eat, load the dishwasher, and call a handyman.



God Bless Australian Women

[Des]

Did you realise?
Pakistan is the only cricket team to go to the World Cup and come home with the ASHES. LOL

[Des]

Two blondes walked into a building. You?d think one of them would have seen it.LOL

[jenny]

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the breeding bull exhibit. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year."

The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "See .. He mated 50 times last year . once-a-week."

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year."

The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year."

The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said, "That's once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from this one."

The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow."

NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and the doctors say after months of rehab and a couple more surgeries he will likely be okay .

[scooter]

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie.
"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So he tied her up and went golfing.

[scooter]

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour.
The wife is behind the wheel.

Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice.

"I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."



The wife says nothing,
Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.

The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it,"
He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend,
And she's a far better lover than you are."



Again the wife stays quiet,
But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55

He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently..



Up to 60.

"I want the car, too," he continues.



65 mph.

"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!"



The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.
This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"



The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
"No, I've got everything I need," she says.
"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"



Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph,
The wife turns to him and smiles.

"The airbag."



Moral of the Story :


Women are clever!!!


Don't mess with them!!

[Des]

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie.
"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So he tied her up and went golfing.

Good one Scooter. Lmfao.