Post your funniest jokes...

[jenny]

:rotflmao: Jenny great jokes

Here is a joke i heared yesterday. (So Stupid :lol!

Q: What do you call a gay Dinosaur?
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A: Tyranasoreass

[gordon{fish}fisher]

a salesman was driving in the bush when his car broke down he pulled over ,lifted the bonett to see what was wrong,when a horse walked over and said its your carby,the salesman checked carby,sure enough it was the carby fixed it and went on his way,next town he called into local pub,ordered a beer,told barman about the horse,barman said was it a white horse or black one,salesman said black one why,barman said because the white one knows nothing about cara

[jenny]

a salesman was driving in the bush when his car broke down he pulled over ,lifted the bonett to see what was wrong,when a horse walked over and said its your carby,the salesman checked carby,sure enough it was the carby fixed it and went on his way,next town he called into local pub,ordered a beer,told barman about the horse,barman said was it a white horse or black one,salesman said black one why,barman said because the white one knows nothing about cara

[jenny]

Q. What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?

A. One less Drunk :beer: :dizzy:

[Capital_Shark]

Q. What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?

A. One less Drunk :beer: :dizzy:

ROFL! Thats good.

Robbie Dee's about the kiwi horses was good too lol.

[BrisbaneBroncosRule]

Q. What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?

A. One less Drunk :beer: :dizzy:

:roll: lol Jenny

[Casey's Angel27]

haha Jenny that is hilarious...

[jenny]

Obituary

Shamus opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Mick.
"Did you see the paper?" asked Shamus. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Mick. "Where are you callin' from?" :dizzy:

[Capital_Shark]

3 construction workers were having smoko on the scaffolding of a high rise building they were building. 1 was Mexican, 1 was Italian and 1 was Irish.

The Mexican opened up his lunch box and said "aww not burritos again! If my wife packs me burritos once more, I'm gonna jump off this building!"

The Italian bloke opens his lunch box, looks in and says "lasagne again! If my wife packs me lasagne for lunch once more, I'll jump off this building too!"

Finally the Irish fella opens his lunch box, looks in and sees an Irish stew. Like the rest of 'em he claims he'll jump from the building if his wife packs him stew for lunch again.

The next day comes around, smoko time again. The 3 workers, remembering their promises from the day before, sit down to eat. The Mexican opens his lunch box, sees burritos, stands up and jumps to his death. He is followed by the Italian who discovered more lasagne and the Irish fella with his stew taking a header off the building."

Later at the wake all the wifes are gathered around. The Mexican's wife is crying "if only I didn't pack him burritos, he'd still be alive!"

The Italian's wife cries out too "if only I gave him something other than lasagne, my husband would be here!"

The Irishman's wife however, isn't crying like the rest and blaming herself. When the other wives ask her "don't you blame yourself for you husband's death?" she says "no, the idiot used to pack his own lunch!"

[jenny]

SOOO funny!

[jenny]

1st Man: Oh hello, how are you, let me buy you a drink!
2nd Man: Why thank you." he replies. "Where are you from?
1st Man: Oh, I'm from Ireland," he replies.
2nd Man: You don't say. I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland.
1st Man: Of course!

And they both pour back their drinks....

2nd Man: So, where in Ireland are you from?
1st Man: Dublin," comes the reply.
2nd Man: I can't believe it says the first man. I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin!
1st Man: Aye! why not!" And both men continue drinking.
2nd Man: So, like... hmmmm... What school did you go to?
1st Man: St. Mary's, I graduated in '62.
2nd Man: You don't say! This is bloody unbelievable, I went to St. Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!
1st Man: Noooo way???

About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Oh nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Mally twins are drunk again." :beer: :beer:

[Capital_Shark]

I forgot how long that bloody joke was until I started typing it.

[Capital_Shark]

1st Man: Oh hello, how are you, let me buy you a drink!
2nd Man: Why thank you." he replies. "Where are you from?
1st Man: Oh, I'm from Ireland," he replies.
2nd Man: You don't say. I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland.
1st Man: Of course!

And they both pour back their drinks....

2nd Man: So, where in Ireland are you from?
1st Man: Dublin," comes the reply.
2nd Man: I can't believe it says the first man. I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin!
1st Man: Aye! why not!" And both men continue drinking.
2nd Man: So, like... hmmmm... What school did you go to?
1st Man: St. Mary's, I graduated in '62.
2nd Man: You don't say! This is bloody unbelievable, I went to St. Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!
1st Man: Noooo way???

About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Oh nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Mally twins are drunk again." :beer: :beer:

ROFL! I was expecting a mirror tbh but thats good too!

[jenny]

Duck Shooting

Two Irishmen were out duck-shooting. They had their guns and dogs and walked for hours with no success. Dropping into the pub on the way back they listened with envy to all the other hunters who had obviously been very successful.
"Where do you think we went wrong?" asked one.
His friend thought for a minute.
"You know, I think it must be that we're not throwing the dogs high enough."

[jenny]

The Great Australian Male

There are large men the whole world over
on a large and varied scale,
but none of them resemble
the Great Australian Male.
He's rugged and he's handsome,
he drinks beer instead of wine,
he's always out for pleasure,
of a very simple kind.
He's either off to see the footy
with a dozen cans or more,
or fishing with his buddies,
getting drunk along some shore.
He thinks he's quite a lover,
and he's sexy and discreet,
that he can get you in a quiver
from your head down to your feet.
But when he's got you ready,
lying limpid beneath the sheet,
you hear a snore and turn around
to find him sound asleep.
He's a funny sort of fellow
with more pride than he's got sense
and if you told him he was wrong,
he'd only take offence.
Oh, there are men who take you dancing,
out to dinner twice a week,
men who never dress in faded jeans
or die to take a leak.
Yes, there are men the whole world over
men with "charm" and "sense of style",
but how could we compare them to
The Great Australian Male. :win: