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  1. #421
    Titan CEO jenny's Avatar
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    A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."

    "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly...make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

    On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

    "You're going to die," she replied. :dead:

    I LOVE "BULL" BAILEY
    "WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN"

  2. #422
    One Clubman Ryan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenny
    A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."

    "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly...make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

    On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

    "You're going to die," she replied. :dead:
    Lazy B!tch :box:
    The girl from the ring watched a highlights reel of Greg Bird, she died 7 days later.....


  3. #423
    Titan CEO jenny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryan
    Lazy B!tch :box:
    LMAO :satan:

    I LOVE "BULL" BAILEY
    "WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN"

  4. #424
    Titan CEO jenny's Avatar
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    After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

    After a trip to the bathroom he was able to make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

    "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

    "Even worse," she assured him in her most scornful one. "You made a complete ass of yourself, succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the chairman of the company to his face."

    "He's an arrogant, self-important prick, piss on him!"

    "You did. All over his suit, " Louise informed him. "And he fired you."

    "Well, screw him," said John.

    "I did. You're back at work on Monday." :beer:

    I LOVE "BULL" BAILEY
    "WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN"

  5. #425
    Titan First Grade Squad BrisbaneBroncosRule's Avatar
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    nice stuff Jen

    I LOVE MICHEL

  6. #426
    One Clubman Ryan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BrisbaneBroncosRule
    nice stuff Jen
    Yep
    The girl from the ring watched a highlights reel of Greg Bird, she died 7 days later.....


  7. #427
    Titan CEO jenny's Avatar
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    A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy.

    "Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no" he replies.

    "Can you get him for me? - I need to speak to him." she says, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't" breathes the barman - clearly in trouble. "Is there snything I can do?"

    "Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room." :naughty:

    I LOVE "BULL" BAILEY
    "WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN"

  8. #428
    One Clubman Ryan's Avatar
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    Dirty Jenny, real dirty :dead:
    The girl from the ring watched a highlights reel of Greg Bird, she died 7 days later.....


  9. #429
    Titan CEO jenny's Avatar
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    Make Me Feel Like a Woman
    A passenger plane on a cross-country trip runs into a terrible storm.
    The plane gets pounded by rain, hail, wind and lightning.

    The passengers are screaming. They are sure the plane is going to crash and that they are all going to die.

    At the height of the storm, a young woman jumps up and exclaims, "I can't take this anymore! I can't just sit here and die like an animal, strapped into a chair. If I am going to die, let me at least die feeling like a woman. Is there anyone here man enough to make me feel like woman?"

    She sees a hand raise in the back, and a muscular man starts to walk up to her seat. As he aproaches her, he takes off his shirt.
    She can see the man's muscles even in the poor lighting of the plane. He stands in front of her, shirt in hand and says to her, "I can make you feel like a woman before you die. Are you interested?"

    Eagerly, she shakes her head, Yes!

    As the man hands her his shirt, he says, "Here. Iron this."

    I LOVE "BULL" BAILEY
    "WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN"

  10. #430
    One Clubman Ryan's Avatar
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    10/10 Jenny! :win: :win: :win:
    The girl from the ring watched a highlights reel of Greg Bird, she died 7 days later.....


  11. #431
    Titan CEO jenny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryan
    Dirty Jenny, real dirty :dead:
    :satan:
    " wanna Get Dirrty :beer:

    I LOVE "BULL" BAILEY
    "WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN"

  12. #432
    One Clubman Ryan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenny
    :satan:
    " wanna Get Dirrty :beer:
    Too dirrty to clean your act up
    The girl from the ring watched a highlights reel of Greg Bird, she died 7 days later.....


  13. #433
    Titan CEO jenny's Avatar
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    Could I See Just One?
    A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers.

    "Hi, is Tony home?"

    "No, he went to the store."

    "Well, you mind if I wait?"

    "No, come in."

    They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."

    Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table.

    They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together."

    Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait any longer and leaves.

    A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know, your weird friend Chris came over."

    Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

    I LOVE "BULL" BAILEY
    "WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN"

  14. #434
    One Clubman Ryan's Avatar
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    Classic
    What a Champion :win:
    The girl from the ring watched a highlights reel of Greg Bird, she died 7 days later.....


  15. #435
    One Clubman Ryan's Avatar
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    Men are just simply happier people, and here is why...

    Your last name stays put.

    The garage is all yours.

    Wedding plans take care of themselves.

    Chocolate is just another snack.

    You can be President. You can never be pregnant.

    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

    Car Mechanics tell you the truth.

    The world is your urinal.

    You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

    You dont have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

    Same work, more pay.

    Wrinkles add character.

    Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

    People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.

    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

    New shoes dont cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

    One mood all the time.

    Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.

    You know stuff about tanks.

    A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.

    You can open all of your own jars.

    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

    If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

    You never have strap problems in public.

    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

    Everything on your face stays its original color.

    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.

    You only have to shave your face and neck.

    You can play with toys all your life.

    Your belly usually hides your big hips.

    One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.

    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

    You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

    No wonder men are happier!
    The girl from the ring watched a highlights reel of Greg Bird, she died 7 days later.....



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