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  1. #436
    Titan CEO jenny's Avatar
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    Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, and he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped."

    His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, She'll probably be thrilled!" So the first fella did just that.

    The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How'd it turn out?"

    "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling�I'll see you in two hours!" :hi: :noidea:

    I LOVE "BULL" BAILEY
    "WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN"

  2. #437
    QLD Cup Titan Casey's Angel27's Avatar
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    Little Johnny was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came out, fireman, policeman, salesman, chippy, captain of industry etc, but little Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

    "My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him."

    The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Johnny aside to ask him if that was really true. "No" said little Johnny, "He plays cricket for England but I was just too embarrassed to say."

  3. #438
    Titan First Grade Squad BrisbaneBroncosRule's Avatar
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    :win: lol CA

    I LOVE MICHEL

  4. #439
    QLD Cup Titan Casey's Angel27's Avatar
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    it was an email from my best friend

  5. #440
    One Clubman Ryan's Avatar
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    Q: What would Glen McGrath be if be played for England?
    A: An All-rounder :dizzy:
    The girl from the ring watched a highlights reel of Greg Bird, she died 7 days later.....


  6. #441
    Titan CEO jenny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryan
    Q: What would Glen McGrath be if be played for England?
    A: An All-rounder :dizzy:
    :rotflmao: HOWZAT??

    I LOVE "BULL" BAILEY
    "WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN"

  7. #442
    Titan CEO jenny's Avatar
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    One March day my wife said that the house needed painting. "It's still winter," I replied. "Forget it."

    In April, she told me she had bought some exterior latex. I said that it was still too cold to paint.

    In May, I heard her outside one day yelling for help, and we set up the ladder so she could start painting. Then I went inside to get a beer. As I sat in a lawn chair not far from where my wife was working, a neighbor passed by. "Aren't you ashamed?" she asked. "How can you sit there drinking beer while your wife is up on a ladder painting the house?"

    Glancing up at my wife, I responded, "She doesn't like beer." :beer:

    I LOVE "BULL" BAILEY
    "WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN"

  8. #443
    Titans Captain ~Wild Child~'s Avatar
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    An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss where the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk and aimed toward the swinging doors of the saloon.

    "Hold on there, Mister," said the sheriff. "Did I just see what I think I saw?"

    "Reckon you did, Sheriff. I got me some powerful chapped lips."

    "And that cures them?" the Sheriff asked.

    "Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' 'em."

  9. #444
    One Clubman Ryan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Michel~
    An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss where the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk and aimed toward the swinging doors of the saloon.

    "Hold on there, Mister," said the sheriff. "Did I just see what I think I saw?"

    "Reckon you did, Sheriff. I got me some powerful chapped lips."

    "And that cures them?" the Sheriff asked.

    "Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' 'em."
    I suppose that would work :dead:
    The girl from the ring watched a highlights reel of Greg Bird, she died 7 days later.....


  10. #445
    Titan CEO jenny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Michel~
    An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss where the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk and aimed toward the swinging doors of the saloon.

    "Hold on there, Mister," said the sheriff. "Did I just see what I think I saw?"

    "Reckon you did, Sheriff. I got me some powerful chapped lips."

    "And that cures them?" the Sheriff asked.

    "Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' 'em."

    I LOVE "BULL" BAILEY
    "WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN"

  11. #446
    Titan First Grade Squad BrisbaneBroncosRule's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryan
    Q: What would Glen McGrath be if be played for England?
    A: An All-rounder :dizzy:
    He is in all-rounder isnt he already :rotflmao:

    I LOVE MICHEL

  12. #447
    Titans Star Player Robbie_Dee's Avatar
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    Default Blonde Joke

    A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a beer.
    After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?

    The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
    In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
    "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it's only fair, since you are blind, that you should know five things:

    1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
    2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
    3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde with a black belt in karate.
    4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
    5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

    Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?
    The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,
    "No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times

    :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:


    GO THE MAROONS!

  13. #448
    Titan CEO jenny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robbie_Dee
    A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a beer.
    After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?

    The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
    In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
    "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it's only fair, since you are blind, that you should know five things:

    1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
    2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
    3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde with a black belt in karate.
    4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
    5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

    Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?
    The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,
    "No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times

    :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
    :lol!: :lol!:

    I LOVE "BULL" BAILEY
    "WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN"

  14. #449
    Titan CEO jenny's Avatar
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    What and who am I?
    A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap.

    When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind.

    The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was. The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other an animal was.

    The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around the rabbit. After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!"

    The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity, and proceeded to return the favor to the snake. After feeling about the snake's body for a few minutes, he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you've got a forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"

    I LOVE "BULL" BAILEY
    "WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN"

  15. #450
    Titan CEO jenny's Avatar
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    "I knew a girl that was so ugly that... She was known as a two bagger. That's when a girl is so ugly that you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks" :dead:

    I LOVE "BULL" BAILEY
    "WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MAN, WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN"


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