Oldest Forum Member

[Titanic]

To start this off, here are the questions that need to be answered if you wish to claim this time honoured title, each tick 1 point:

Age questions:

1. Were calculators allowed when you went to school? An extra mark if they weren't invented then.
2. Did you play or support a team under the unlimited tackle rule? If you played seniors take an extra point.
3. What was the name of the first high rise in Surfers Paradise?
4. Describe the Coppertone billboard on Caville Avenue?
5. What really happened to Harold Holt?

Grumpy questions:

1. When you pick up the phone from a telemarker, you
(a) politely answer their questions
(b) slam down the phone without speaking
(c) use your best gutter language for 30 seconds without repeating yourself.

2. When somebody pushes into a queue in front of you, you
(a) let them in with a smile
(b) look at the person behind you with a shrug of the shoulders
(c) grab your walking stick and thrash the living daylights out of them?

3. When you get up in the middle of the night to pee (again) the first thought that enters your mind is
(a) I need to get back and finish that dream
(b) where is the bloody toilet
(c) I'll use this time to also have a Michael from my Searle?

4. When you see a young lady with it all hanging out and inked to he max, you wonder
(a) where was she thirty years ago
(b) what do her parents think
(c) all sheilas are wretched gossip mongers who should stick to cooking and the laundry.

5. When the Titans lose, you
(a) look for the positives from the teams worst performers
(b) search for the addresses of the coach and board members to deliver a non-ambiguous message
(c) login to the Forum and rant petulantly at all and sundry?

Feel free to add your own questions (after answering these as best you can). I nominate Diehard, Hail Sezer and Titan Pete to independently adjudicate a winner.

Disclaimer: these questions were taken from the Forbes Business website and any resemblance to the recent fan survey is totally coincidental.